


Kawaii Husktop

by Conspiracy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, weird computer hand sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:12:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Conspiracy/pseuds/Conspiracy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux's husktop grows a face and starts calling him 'senpai'. <br/>And it gets worse after that. <br/>God, please don't read this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kawaii Husktop

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this website: http://www.kawaiicrush.com/.   
> Revel in its awfulness.   
> Also, this is my first time ever attempting to write Sollux, so I hope I didn't do too awfully.

Sollux Captor had been working on this piece of code for.....well, who knows how long. Certainly not him, as he had a tendency to lose track of time when it came to things like his work. All he really knew was that he hadn't eaten since he started, which is what led him to push back from his husktop and stand with a yawn, padding to his kitchen to make a sandwhich. However, halfway through the construction of his peanut butter and honey sandwhich, he heard a mysterious voice coming from the other room.   
"Oh Sollux-senpai~ Please come back to me~" the female voice sang, high and clear from the next room. "It's lonely in here without you~"   
He had no idea who that could be, as he didn't know anyone who sounded like that. "ED, I thwear to God, if you are pulling another thtupid prank on me--" he called out into the next room, having left his sandwhich behind. Which is good, because he probably would have dropped it anyway when he saw what.......what the fuck was he even looking at. Obviously, there was no way his computer could have actually grown a face, and be talking to him. No /fucking/ way.   
"Sollux-senpai! You really did come back! Oh, that makes me soooo happy!" it called out, and he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes before blinking and slipping them back on. Yep, this shit was really happening. Either that or he had lost every single one of his marbles.   
"What the fuck ith a thenpai, thtop calling me that. No, wait, thtop....talking, you thouldn't be talking at all. Thith ith actually creepy ath hell. Maybe I thould thleep more."   
"Noooo, silly, it has nothing to do with that! Come over here, and we can talk about it more.....pleasseee? Don't leave me again......"   
"Fine." There was the small matter of the project he had to finish, after all. It's not like he could let something as small as temporary insanity stop him from coding, right? Of course not, that would be so amateur. The Psionic made his way back over to his hukstop, sitting down in the swivel chair in front of it as his hands hovered momentarily over the keys as he tried not to focus on the eyes now staring at him intensely from his screen.  
"Touch my keys, senpai. Touch them. You know you want to."   
Actually, he did want to. A lot. Although, the fact that.....she? requested it made him a bit nervous and uneasy. Very slowly, he let his hands rest familiarly over the keys before he continued his rapid typing like usual.   
"Ohhhhh, senpai. Yes, just like that..........that feels so good.....~!"   
And then he immediately stopped, as if he hadn't been creeped out before, his computer had apparently just moaned. "No, no no no no. Okay, I am done with thith. I am going to go to thleep, and when I wake up, you are not going to have a face and thith is going to have not happened." He made as if to push back from his chair, but stopped when it spoke again.   
"No, senpai, please! Don't stop!" the face was pouting now, and almost looked like it might cry. "I thought you loved me, senpai. You always tell me so when I work the right way, always make sure I'm safe. I do everything for you. Don't you want to make me happy, just like I do for you?"   
As much as he hated to admit it, she had a point. Not a very good one, but....enough to make him think twice about this. "Lithten, okay? You are a huthktop. I am not gonna thtoop to having weird hand thex with you. That soundth like a premithe for a weird porno."   
"Come on, please, senpai? Just this one time, and then I won't ask again. Or maybe I will just send all your personal files to your entire contact list........" She almost seemed to smirk, and there was an evil undertone to the usually chipper voice.   
"Why you little......." he had been about to insult her, but there was really no point in making her angry. And if it was only this one time..... "Fine, I'll do it. But for the love of fuck, thtop calling me thenpai."   
She cheered, screen brightening just a bit. "I knew we would see eye to eye on this! Start whenever you are ready, sen-- Sollux."   
"Right." And with that, he went back to typing rapidly to a chorus of loud pleasured noises from the machine.   
"Mmmmm, Sollux, you have such beautiful hands, I love it when you hit my keys, ohhhh~"   
He tried to ignore the moaning and not focus on what he was actually doing, typing a bit faster as pieces of clipped binary that he had to complete flashed colorfully across the screen.   
"Faster, faster, faster, faster!" the voice begged, screen only getting brighter and brighter as the machine began to throw sparks.   
"Yeah, yeah, hold your hoofbeathtth, don't fucking overheat on me." he began to type even faster, as fast as his hands could go.  
"H-hit......hit the spacebar! Please, spacebar, spacebar spacebar!"   
The yellowblood jammed down on the space bar repeatedly only to hear something that sounded like a high pitched metallic scream, before a discharge of energy sent him and the chair skating across the room.   
"Mmmmm~ Thank you, senpai......" the voice rang out for its final time before the face disappeared, leaving the room as silent as it had been previously. He fixed his glasses, which ha dcome askew on his face, dazed for a moment before he spoke.   
"I thuddenly....feel like...I need a thower."


End file.
